Jul 4, 2025
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8 min read
America passes a $4.5T bill at 1AM, celebrates with a bomber, and TikTok’s dancing to Big Mama — Happy Birthday, USA.
Jul 3, 2025
10 min read
The internet is mourning, exploding, and arguing — in that order."
Jul 2, 2025
Diddy might beat the life sentence—but not the memes.
Jul 1, 2025
Superman just saved the box office. Bezos saved no expenses.”
Jun 30, 2025
9 min read
Beyoncé almost fell out of the sky, and America’s budget might, too.
Jun 29, 2025
Russia fires 537 missiles. Matty fires 1 verse. Both hit hard.
Jun 28, 2025
Jeff Bezos rented Venice like it was an Airbnb. Billionaires: they’re just like us, but with yachts for rings.
Jun 27, 2025
Jeff Bezos got married on a private island after docking his half-billion-dollar yacht—Venice is rethinking canals.
Jun 26, 2025
Maine Man Goes #1, NYC Goes Marxist, and NATO Calls Trump 'Daddy.'
Jun 25, 2025
Trump says the war is over—missiles and memes disagree
Jun 24, 2025
7 min read
Trump said world peace is back—missiles disagreed.
Jun 23, 2025
When the U.S. bombs Iran and the Thunder win Game 7 in the same 24 hours—somebody’s definitely playing SimCity with our timeline
